a very long internet-less week

I meant to write a farewell from North Carolina post, but I had been so efficient in my pre-packing boxing up of stuff that Monday morning I was informed by the moving crew that they could condense our last 4 days in Chapel Hill to 2. I jumped at the opportunity to save leave and get to Maine faster. Now we are safely up in Maryland with 99% of our things unpacked and unscathed, I can give you the condensed version of our adventure in moving.

Monday: The packers were so fast that I had to run from room to room pulling items out of boxes that I had forgotten to set aside- like the big knife to cut the watermelon I was planning on serving Tuesday at lunch. I rescued the knife (imagine trying to cut up a watermelon with plastic cutlery), but wasn't so lucky with the coolers. To transport all our condiments in the car for 6 hours I hit Target one last time for a new jobby on wheels. I'm not so sure it wouldn't have been cheaper to just buy new ketchup, so don't mention it.

Tuesday: A pretty uneventful day other than watching all our items roll onto the truck, though seeing 4 men strain to push our piano up the ramp made me very grateful I am a mommy and not a day laborer. We said goodbye to all our friends at the pool and camped on the floor in an empty house.

Wednesday: The kids and I hit the road in the rain for the trek northward, stopping at the National Battlefield in Petersburg to show the kids where their great-great-great-grandfather fought during the Civil War. I think the kids will remember eating the bag of Cheetos in the rain more than the historical aspects of the walk. The trip was lengthened considerably by the fact that we had to stop every 50 miles so Charlie "tiny bladder" C. could use the facilities. Usually we just pulled over and just let him water a bush, but Maggie was joining him on the little blue pot (stashed under the seat at all times for such emergencies as this) about every other time. Luckily I didn't hear any whining from the backseat after Fredricksburg, as the Capitol Beltway is not known for a a supply of places to pull over without getting in a wreck.

Thursday: We waited impatiently for the movers to arrive and then assisted them in unloading the truck under the assumption that "the faster they get finished, the faster they will leave." Finally the truck pulled away at 5 pm, leaving us in silence and surrounded by mounds of boxes up to the ceiling.

Friday: Tim and I were awakened at 5am by our king size bed collapsing. We took the bed apart and reassembled it to only find it gone wonky again by midday. We must have set a record of the number of boxes unpacked in one 8 hour period as the basement would have been awash in cardboard until Will started breaking them down with his trusty pocketknife. In no time there were a half-dozen tidy stacks in the carport awaiting trash/recycle pickup day. Timmy felt very warm and while Tim went to the grocery to pick up some baby Tylenol, I checked his temperature- 103.4. Right after he reluctantly swallowed the grape goo he promptly vomited it all down the front of my shirt. Since the baby was the sickly one, he got first dibs on the bath and I had to wait patiently for my turn to scrub with Softsoap. The mango scented gel works great to eliminate any unwanted odors I'll have you know!

Saturday: Finally we discover and remedy the bed issue with a rug pad on the floor. Previously we had carpet and the rounded posts had something to grip, on wood floors they slipped under any pressure. Another day of unpacking and hefting boxes of books that were misdirected by the movers. Since the adult books are mostly on the first level and the children's tomes are in the basement, my muscles got a real workout.

Sunday: We wake the kids up early for Mass, explaining to them as they whined about their lack of sleep, "We can go to Mass 15 minutes away at an inconvenient time or we can go to Mass later and spend 45 minutes getting there. Mommy and Daddy pick the closer one. Brush your hair and teeth and get dressed." Good behavior was rewarded with doughnuts in the social hall afterwards and we were home by 9:30am. After a year of spending our entire Sunday in the car getting to and from Mass, this was a real treat. I took the opportunity to take a long nap and thoroughly enjoyed it.

and finally...

Monday (today): As we pull out onto the main road heading for the grocery store Tim called to say that he and Will safely arrived at the farm in Maine. It is still a 15 hour trek since there is traffic no matter what time you drive through New Jersey (even 2am), but he told me that the yellow siding looks great and the neighbors have commented on how pretty our little apartment/garage is. All afternoon we waited patiently for the Verizon guy to arrive to hook up the phone and internet, finally pulls up at 4:30pm, and staying 3 hours before informing me that my ancient 7 year old computer will not work with our new fancy wireless system. (Well, Tim promised me a new laptop soon anyway). The phone/internet up in Maine won't be working for 2 weeks so I will be dependant on trips to the library to email and post. Well, such is just one small sacrifice in the life of a military spouse, I hope you will understand my sporadic posting in the next few weeks until I get everything running smoothly again.

As our good friend Tigger says, Ta-ta for now!"

helicopter vs free-range moms

I admit that I try to be a 1950's mom, letting my kids have a good deal of freedom that seems to be lacking in the lives of many of today's children. The older kids ride their bikes to piano lessons and scouts, are allowed to walk to the pool by themselves, and hang out with their friends outside for hours each day. I don't overscheldule their days, giving them plenty of free time to goof off, read, and be kids. At the playground I have always been the mommy who sits on the park bench reading a book or chatting rather than hovering beside each child. If they get hurt I encourage them to pick themselves up, dust off, and get back to playing. I have found that they end up being more resilient and not as prone to theatrics. I like to have a general idea of where the children are, but have never contemplated getting any of them a cell phone or installing a GPS chip under their skin.

After reading this article in Newsweek I took a "mommy quiz" to determine my parenting style. The results confirmed what I suspected, how we parent is based primarily on our distinct personality and so there is no "one right method" of raising children. Many times I have read a book or article that states in bold print, "The Best Way to Not Raise Brats!" and every paragraph assumes that all mothers tend to be too much of a push-over. If we can remember that each of our children were given to us by God himself and learn our parenting "style" then we can become the wonderful parent to the children entrusted in our care.

My quiz results: intj -The "Individual Integrity" Mother

Individualistic and independent, the INTJ mother is both a role model and teacher of how to be an individual and live life with integrity. She is introspective, defining her own success from within, and generally confident in her decisions. She is unlikely to be persuaded by her children saying, "But all the other mothers are doing it."

The INTJ is competent in providing for her children's basic needs, but she is likely more focused on developing their self-esteem and confidence. Observant and insightful, she puts great importance on independent thinking and self-sufficiency, yet she is comfortable providing protection and boundaries.

Self-motivated and intense, the INTJ works hard and takes life seriously. As a mother, she lives for those moments when she can impart knowledge and offer her children perspectives on life and important issues.

Knowing that not any style is "best," what kind of mom are you?

a true red, white, and blue 4th of July

The fire engine at the head of the neighborhood parade was red,

The spray coming out of the back of the engine during our rest stop was white,

and the water in the pool was blue. Mary collected the most money in the dive for coins contest, Maggie won the smallest splash contest, and Charlie decided to be the youngest swimmer in the pool - doggy-paddling 4 feet to the side all by himself! Tonight we will set off fireworks in the driveway and finally tuck 5 very worn-out children in the bed.

I hope you had as wonderful Independence Day as we did!

want to rethink that desire for socialized medicine?

Mrs. Ellen Westwood, 88, was in Birmingham's Selly Oak Hospital for two months after she had been admitted into Birmingham's Royal Orthopaedic Hospital for routine shoulder surgery. The woman ended up being treated for dementia and C.difficile, which Westwood's daughter alleges she contracted at the Orthopaedic Hospital after the surgery. The bacterial infection soon spread to her cheeks, face and throat, making it difficult for her to swallow.
Doctors at Selly Oak Hospital then told the family that all food, fluids and hydration were to be stopped and that Mrs. Westwood would be given morphine "because she is dying".

The family, however, brought the woman food and water. Hospital officials responded by threatening to report the family to social services for feeding Mrs. Westwood.
Eventually the family obtained a second opinion and Mrs. Westwood was able to go home, where she is recovering well and is celebrating her 89th birthday today.

While active euthanasia officially remains illegal in Britain, some are saying that the NHS standard procedure of issuing elderly and vulnerable patients with an "end of life plan" that includes dehydration, is simply euthanasia under a different name. Lifesitenews.com

IHM Conference notes: Taming the Tough Teens

Dr. Ray Guarendi is the funniest guy on the homeschool/family life circuit. He imparts great words of wisdom in between jokes, sometimes making the point about discipline the punchline itself. He is the father of many children, all adopted I believe, and can have a 4 year old saying, "Yes sir, anything you say sir," in about 20 minutes. This talk really struck home as I am one of those relatively strict parents he harps on, my kids are good about 85% of the time, but that isn't good enough for Dr. Guarendi. No way, he wants everyone's kids to be kind, respectful, charitable, and gentle all 24 hours of the day.

"Teenage angst" is cultural not developmental. We have permitted a great deal of bad behavior in the name of "kidhood." We are at the point of such lax parenting that now we have an epidemic of battered parent syndrome.

We need to have zero tolerance for nastiness, disrespecting a sibling, and many behaviors that we wouldn't tolerate from anyone else. If they ask to do something fun, "Can I go to the movies...?" They should be given a chore first, "Sure, but the lawn needs to be mowed." If they are rude then add on more labor.

We do the same sins over and over but we expect our kids to reform instantly, "Oh, I never thought of that, I'll be sure to follow your advice next time Mom." Let's get real, they are children and will try the same stunts again and again.

Many of the parents here have kids already in the top 5% of good behavior. They don't do drugs, smoke, drink, swear.... compared to everyone else we are "Amish." But do you want to raise a comparatively decent kid or do you want to raise saints? This relatively strict syndrome is only an illusion of strictness. Compare it to saying at the Particular Judgement, "But, God, 99% of the time I didn't commit a mortal sin!" Our children need to be respectful of their parents and siblings first and foremost, don't let them slide just because they are nice to everyone else but nasty to members of their family.

Carnival of Homeschooling

Beverly is hosting the carnival this week at About Homeschooling.

pre-packers packing

In less than a week we will welcome strange people into our house to touch everything we own, wrap it all carefully in newsprint, and seal it in boxes. Then another set of people will put all the boxes in a big truck and drive away. Can you tell I have issues about this? Perhaps it is because I have always moved while either pregnant or nursing save once. Perhaps it is because I consider my home a fortress from the many worldly evils and when we move that feeling evaporates.

My coping mechanism is to become uber-organized mama, starting by making lists of what needs to be packed for Maine, what needs to come with us in the van, and what we need to eat for supper to use up everything in the freezer. I then organize every junk drawer, every shelf, every closet so the loose game and puzzle pieces are not mixed in with other junk and lost forever. Finally, I hit the liquor store for boxes to pack up everything that is not breakable or nailed down.

Unfortunately the kids undo much of my work by playing with the toys I put away, piece together the puzzles I stack on the shelf, and sneak the books I am trying to pack so they can read them by flashlight in bed. After two weeks of sorting and packing the house looks much the same as it did when I started but with the addition of a multitude of stacked whisky boxes. I have to remind myself to be gracious to the folks who we will entrust our worldly goods to and that in two weeks it will all be unpacked again in our new home. Lastly, if that isn't enough to put me in a better frame of mind I need to recall that in just 3 weeks we will be headed up to Maine for picnics, visits with old friends, and walks to acquaint ourselves with the farm. This is our last military tour so in the not too-distant-future I see the end of this seemingly endless packing and unpacking that has been the backdrop of my 12 year career as a military spouse.

future vocation...or not

Maggie: "Charlie, what do you want to be when you grow up?"

Charlie: "A fireman."

Maggie: "You could be a priest."

Charlie: "No, I want to be a fireman."

Maggie: "Priests love God best. Don't you want to be a priest?"

Charlie: "No! I want to be a fireman!"

IHM Conference notes: Pope Benedict XVI and the Mass

Yesterday was our last hour long trek to attend the Traditional Latin Mass in North Carolina. After searching on-line for a church home up in DC I found a parish less than 10 miles from our new home that offers a 1962 Mass, CCD, Scout groups, two daily Masses, and Eucharist Adoration. After the past year, I am hopeful of attending a welcoming as well as devout place to worship God. Here are some notes from Father Fessio's recent talk about the Mass:


Homeschooling today is the equivalent of the monastery of the Middle Ages, it restores a connection with the culture of Catholicism in a traditional sense of music, art...

The center of Pope Benedict's life is the Mass

The reform of the reform options are to take the 1962 Mass and reform it to update or take the Novus Ordo Mass and reform by using Latin and most traditional canon available. Visually it would look like to this to impliment what the Council leaders intended:

1962 Mass ---> Vatican II <---Novus Ordo Mass

In the Jewish liturgy there are two separate components, synagogue worship which focused on scripture and temple worship which focused on sacrifice. They are brought together in the Catholic liturgy. The Spirit of Liturgy is a book on the Mass focusing on the renewal of liturgy by Pope Benedict XVI.

Father Fessio then discussed his early friendship with the Pope and their written correspondence through the past 15 years. His own transformation into a lover of the Gregorian Rite (a new name for the TLM) began with saying Mass facing Our Lord. That experience so moved him that he gradually pulled more and more aspects of the 1962 Mass. He shared these impressions with his old friend and found many of the same thoughts reflected in response.

My impression from Father Fessio's talk that we are experiencing a historical moment in the life of the Church and what happens depends a great deal on priest's and bishop's following the successor of Peter. The opportunity for a glorious renewal of Catholic life is upon us and we should take every step possible to support Pope Benedict's effort in this regard.

another "study" that states the obvious

Bradford Wilcox, a sociology professor at the University of Virginia, analyzed three national studies... His research led him to conclude that men who regularly attend Christian services are engaged in happier and stronger marriages and are more involved in the lives of their children than men who do not.
"70 percent of husbands who attend church regularly report they are 'very happy' in their marriages, compared to 59 percent of husbands who rarely or never attend church," explained Wilcox, who also said that the studies indicated that wives experienced more marital happiness when their husbands attended regular religious services....married couples who attended regular Christian services were approximately 35 percent less likely to divorce then those couples who did not.

Fathers who attended regular Christian services spent an average of two more hours a week engaged in ...activities with their children. Christian fathers also spent more one-on-one time with their children and were 65 percent more likely to hug and praise their children.


The studies also found that children born inside of wedlock had much more "involved, affectionate, and consistent relationships" with their fathers. This is an important statistic given Wilcox's findings that church attending men are more likely to have children inside of wedlock then non-church going men.


"I find that fathers who are religious, and who have partners who are religious, are - on average - more likely to be happily married, to be engaged and affectionate parents, and to get and stay married to the mothers of their children." LifeSite News

A statistic that gets thrown around a lot in orthodox Catholic circles is that married couples who use NFP only have a 2% rate of divorce. I don't know if that is based on actual studies, but following the logic of the above mentioned study, it seems that the more a couple allows God to be part of the decision-making, the more likely God will give them grace to persevere in times of massive difficulty such as death of family members or financial troubles.

homeschool success stories

Apparently somewhere on-line some not well educated person started it by saying, "It’s good that Christians homeschool. We need citizens to clean our toilets and mow our lawns. Perhaps some homeschooled Christians will be able to fill these types of jobs. The rest will be unemployable retards like their parents."

To prove a point the folks at the The American Vision then asked home educated graduates to leave a comment describing what kind of work they are doing since completing high school.
The responses are an amazing testament to the educational excellence of the home education movement. This is only a typical post:

We home schooled all three of our children through high school.

oldest, Luke, is a Supply Officer in the U. S. Navy, responsible for $2 million dollar annual budget onboard a nuclear powered submarine.

Our daughter, Shannon, has an associates degree and will be leaving in August for a year in China teaching English as a second language.

My son Matthew is a 3.8 GPA college student entering his Junior year at the University of Oklahoma this fall.

As for mowing the lawn? My homeschooler does it and is thrilled to receive his $4 pay, after all he is only 9. I have drilled into the kids at every opportunity that there are no good paying jobs for uneducated/unskilled people these days, they all been outsourced overseas. If they want to be able to support a family and live a comfortable lifestyle they need to do well in their studies. Otherwise they will be standing behind the counter at McDonald's asking, "Would you like fries with that?"

Museum of Life and Science

Yesterday afternoon I sneaked out with the 4 older children while Timmy was napping (Tim was studying) and headed over to a museum that has been on my to-do list all year. Afterwards I so wished that I had insisted we had gone earlier than 2 weeks before we move so we could return again and again. The admission fee is pretty steep, requiring almost $50 for our family to just walk in the door, but on Wednesday afternoons with just a copy of our water bill we were able to enjoy all the exhibits for a minimal donation. The main building is sort of a hodge-podge of science and learning such as a mock-up of the lunar lander right next to a collection of animal skulls and an enormous leaf-cutter ant farm.

A walk past the crowded playground led us to a tiny barnyard and the bug building - a collection of gigantic cockroaches and millipedes, microscopes to see live beetles and fruit flies, and a tropical conservatory with dozen of butterflies flitting from branch to eager outstretched hands. Another 1/4 mile walk led to the wind exhibits which made Will and Mary gasp in their eagerness to try out the remote controlled 2' long sailboats.

It was a long wait to get a turn but everyone got a chance to steer and trim the sails.

When we finally pulled into the driveway 4 hours later all the members of my crew were hot, tired, and thirsty. They had such a nice time that I might finagle a way to go back next week and see if we can get a ride on the tiny steam engine as well as play ram your sister's boat at the pond.

IHM Conference notes: Homeschooling High School

Ginny Seuffert gave another inspirational, funny, and informative talk answering why should we and how we can homeschool our teens.

Why should we homeschool high school?

In public school teens have to go with the flow, the tribal mentality is overwhelming. Many teens are just trying to find ways to be angry.
"I wouldn't want to be shut up there for hours and hours each day, why would I force my kid to do it?"
The horrible materialism in terms of technology and cars that is present in high school leads to ostracization if your kid can't keep up. If you are a family with a single income you can't keep up even if you wanted to- which you don't. The teenager who was perfectly content at home suddenly begins to look critically at his own family for not having stuff. Appreciation for sacrifices only comes much later.
Don't worry about academics, the kids are reading all kinds of trashy, politically-correct, and anti-family garbage.

How can we homeschool high school?

Community college classes and the use of their library is a good resource for upper level subjects. Family, not school should get credit for raising learners. Beat the bushes for opportunities for your kids to learn a foreign language (pretty darn easy these days to find a Spanish speaker), sports (local clubs), or theater (community group).

Start at the same early time every day. Teach them to be punctual and hardworking- the number one thing most employers find lacking in employees these days.

Have a plan, be organized, and expect your teen to do a lot of it themselves. Get child to come up with a plan if things go wrong such as emergencies or vacation that cuts into schooltime.

Limit the number of hours doing school. However, they can't spend schooltime helping Mom to the detriment of learning. They need to be serious about their schoolwork. Kids don't want to write, but nothing is more important to future success in career and persuading others about the Faith than writing.

Make your school a school of virtue: teach your teens good habits such as social skills- being able to say sincere things, "I'm so sorry to hear of your mother's death," and writing thank you notes. Encourage close relationships between siblings and to parents. Talk about scandal and the responsibility of giving good example to younger children. They should be taught about modesty and respecting parents. Whether we like it or not the world does judge the entire homeschool community by our kids.

When dealing with teens who want freedoms they are not ready to handle, "You are not an orphan, someone cares about you and wants to know where you are." "I trust you, but I don't trust your judgement." "Don't tell me you will be back later, come to me with a plan."

God offers two crowns: green for fertility and red for martyrdom, we must accept both. Yes, it would be nice to ship them off to school and be free, but this is the self we need to deny. Give our whole self to God, this time to our family, and we will be richly rewarded in the end.

Even though my oldest is only going into 5th grade this fall I still needed this pep talk, You can do it and here is how." Thanks Ginny.

using the grocery store as a bank

Americans wasted over $4 billion on ATM fees last year, according to BankRate.com. Some giant monster mega-banks are pushing their non-customer fees as high as $5! There's a better answer than getting ripped off. You can go to a credit union or a community bank and get real customer service and not have to pay for ATMs. Quite often, your credit union or community bank will have an ATM network that's fee-free.

I haven't been to an ATM or bank in the last 8 years. Why should I when our credit union allows me to get cash back at the grocery store checkout? I am steamed when I hear about all the folks who are getting horribly treated by their banks (the latest is folks in high foreclosure areas getting their credit card limits being lowered without notice), but irritated that people will allow a business to give them such horrible service and pay lots more for it. Credit unions are typically a much better choice.

carnival of homeschooling

This week's camp edition of the carnival is up at Dewey's Treehouse.

gas prices keep going up

Now I know why the public school officials were so friendly when I called last week to understand Maryland's cryptically worded homeschooling law. I probably saved them hundreds of dollars just in diesel costs.

Another great thing I found was that having the kids enrolled in Seton helped me evade the onerous superintendent supervision of their education which includes up to 3 yearly visits, extensive portfolio requirements, and the potential of some government entity stating, "You aren't doing a good enough job, you have to enroll them with us." It made me wonder how many of those school buses are filled with kids who can't read on grade level and don't get to pursue their own interests in history or science. How many days do they waste on learning to take a standardized test? How many hours in the day do they actually spend on-task?

Just like I don't want to get cleaning tips from messy Molly or be subjected to childrearing articles from a psychologist with screwed up kids, my take is that when the public schools are graduating children who are all academically excellent then they can give direction to the homeschoolers, but certainly not in the today's climate of overwhelming school failure.


Here's how rising fuel prices affect an organization with a fleet of 1,273 school buses: The Montgomery County school board today will consider giving Superintendent Jerry D. Weast emergency powers to make students walk farther to school, if need be, in the coming academic year.

The school system's diesel costs have more than doubled in four years, from $3.6 million in fiscal 2005 to a projected $7.9 million for fiscal 2009, which begins next month. It's a hardship shared by the Fairfax County school system, with more than 1,500 buses; the Prince George's County system, with 1,285 buses; and other area systems that transport tens of thousands of students daily and are paying more for fuel than the average parent.

Should prices continue to rise, the school system could save money by raising maximum walking distances for students, because more walkers means fewer buses. Currently, elementary school students walk up to a mile, middle school students 1.5 miles and high school students two miles.

silly test

I still have a lot of work to do if I wanted to be a perfect 1930's housewife.

hat tip to Barbara (who scored 99)

84 As a 1930s wife, I am Very Superior Take the test!

reading circle

I just finished (while on the way home from Mass) Stolen Innocence, My Story of Growing Up in a Polygamous Sect, Becoming a Teenage Bride, and Breaking Free of Warren Jeffs by Elissa Wall. I can't say that I know much about Mormonism in general or the FLDS (the group that runs Yearn for Zion ranch in Texas), but this book gave me more insight into the brainwashing that goes on in such a place. It was frightening to read about her repeated pleading not to marry a man she despised and then be pressed into "man-woman relations" without having learned anything from her mother about such things. It amazed me how Elissa could develop a stong inner conscious after being subjected to such abject cruelty and limited education. Her courageousness at facing down the "prophet" Warren Jeffs is inspiring.

The epilogue mentions the April 2008 raiding of the FLDS compound in Texas and how Elissa assisted the authorities in communicating clearly with the members. She gives great credit to the CPS and the police in their effort in reaching out and understanding the culture of the FLDS while investigating child abuse. I admit that I can see this side of the argument better now. On the other hand, I still am angry over the image of dozens of little children taken from their mothers and put in foster care based on a single anonymous caller. This is many homeschooler's biggest fear and one that has made me wake out of a nightmare covered in sweat.

What was the right thing to do? I think it is such a difficult and multi-faceted problem involving freedom of religion, property rights, marriage laws, and child abuse that it will take minds far more intelligent than mine to find the morally correct answer.

disclaimer

The rapid discoloration and swelling on my left cheekbone is not from any violence on the part of my spouse (as if!) or children, but due to my own stupidity. If you happen to be cleaning up the yard today and spy a large dead branch hanging down, do not yank with all your might. It could swing back and whack you in the face. I wish that someone had warned me 30 minutes ago.

Of course we are going to dinner tonight at a work colleague's home. I'm hoping that they just think that Tim's wife is a closet biker chicks who just happened to be in a bar fight.

I think I'll go put an ice pack on my face and go lie down....

pool party

Every evening after supper is cleaned up I help Timmy into his swimmy nappie and instruct the older children to grab a towel. Then we walk around the pond, constantly watching out for snakes lying by the path. I slip both the little boys into their float gear and they jump, splash, and paddle for over an hour before we hike back home for showers and bed. The exercise has been great, ensuring that they will start snoring as soon as each head hit the pillow. They have made quite a few friends. I actually didn't realize how many children lived in the neighborhood until we met them poolside.

Maggie has learned to dive off the diving board. Her signature hop at takeoff always sends me into a giggle fit. Even Charlie tries to dive, pointing his little fingers before he does an enormous belly flop. As his body is encased in buoyant foam pads it doesn't seem to bother him because he climbs up the ladder to give it another go. Timmy performs a jump, splash, bob to surface, climb, jump, splash sequence which keeps me on my toes to make sure the little daredevil doesn't drown. I broke down the cost of the prorated fee we paid for half the summer and it must be the best deal out there: $5.50 a visit for the whole family to get wet, get fit, learn new skills, and have a great time.

As if I could put a value on this smile.

IHM Conference notes: Homeschooling Boys

Dr. Mary Kay Clark homeschooled her 7 boys so it is appropriate that she give a talk explaining the delights and distractions inevitable in sitting down in the schoolroom with a young male. I have to say that my experience has been pretty typical with Will taking forever to learn to read, being easily distracted by everything outside of his books, loving science projects, and having more of a knack for understanding numbers than his sister. I cringe when I think of what he could have experienced if we had put him in public school: doped up on Ritalin and placed in a track to special ed just for being a typical boy. Every child develops at their own speed but there are some generalizations that are true for boys that are not addressed in our female dominated school systems.

Boys learn differently than girls and they surprise us with their goodness. We can harness that desire to do good by helping them practice the corporal works of mercy and teaching them by example. Our goal is not just to raise brains capable of getting into Harvard, but to raise good Catholic men, the future's priests and fathers.

How boys learn differently:

Boys like active learning- moving while studying, hands-on science projects, serving Mass. They use few words but they will excel at competitive activities such as crossword and code puzzles, cryptograms, and Scrabble. Most importantly for their academic success is teaching them to read and to love reading. Explain pictures and diagrams in textbooks before they start reading a section. They hate to write, but you must patiently and diligently make them do it. They have short attention spans so don't drag school out longer than 6 hours. They would rather be finished than accurate so the parent must be on top of the situation. Math problems can be graded right away, preferably by the boy after each problem is completed so he doesn't continue any errors. Boys are generally not good listeners, but if they start playing a musical instrument then their ears become better trained.

Young men look to their fathers and those who share hobbies with their boys have many opportunities to teach them about being a man. It doesn't matter what they are doing together, fixing cars, fishing, sports, or electric trains, that time together gives the father the opportunity to be a role model and discuss "man stuff." Boys like a challenge so utilize competitive opportunities such as quiz games and spelling bees. Lastly, boys like to be in control so let them make choices early so they can gradually develop the ability to be in charge of a family.

All through this talk I saw many heads nodding their agreement with Dr. Clark's assessment of how boys learn best. So far we have incorporated many of these ideas into our own homeschooling but I will have to check out the Mr. Wizard science shows that she mentioned were now available on DVD. I know Will loves seeing these experiments, I just don't want to blow up my kitchen in the process.

IHM Conference notes: The Place of the Passions in Education

Father Paul Scalia, son of Supreme Court justice Antonin Scalia, gave a wonderful (sometime over my head) talk on the role that emotions play in education.

Our doctrines are not to be held just intellectually, but with our emotions as well. We should feel with the Church and through the development of a sound conscious develop a gut instinct for what the Faith holds.

Two errors of the passions:
defect-a stoic attitude that trivializes the emotions
excess-viewing of emotions as the end-all-be-all


Disordered passions cripple our ability to think, but with trained emotions everything works more serenely. To teach our children we first need to train our own- discern what is a proper emotional response.


3 goals of education:
intellect- know what is truth
will- do what is good
emotion- passions trained to delight in and be pained by things that we ought


How do we train the passions?
We need to preserve the capacity to wonder by exposing our children to the fine arts. Learning about classic music, painting, literature, poetry, and sculpture teach children a standard of beauty and how to respond to them properly. With our emotions properly formed we are drawn to goodness and moved by the greatness of the Incarnation. The purpose of educating our children is to assist them in reaching Heaven and the goals above do this by helping them know, love, and serve God in this world so they can be happy with him forever.


It is certainly humbling to realize that Father Scalia is the same age as I am and has accomplished so much. What do I have to show for my years of study and work? Then I realize that God gave us far different vocations and therefore distinct gifts to produce success. My goal in this life is to teach my children to long for Heaven and help them attain eternal life as well as assisting my spouse to do the same. If I do my job to the best of my ability then one day I will hear Our Lord say, "Well done, good and faithful servant."

homeschool carnival

This week's large carnival is hosted by Apollos Academy.

IHM Conference notes: Surviving Siblings

Ginny Seuffert, mother of 12 has to be one of the funniest speakers in the world of homeschooling. She gives out practical advice on organizing a household and educating children of many ages at the same time. Her talk this past week included the "S list":

strict not stern:
be loving and kind, start discipline early and often, enforce rules 100% of time, never allow your children to argue with you.

schedule set in stone:
create one that makes sense for your family, children do better if they know what to expect, little kids will play better on their own in morning, brainstorm to solve time problems.

spic and span not squalor:
do the best you can- surface clean counts, a certain level of cleanliness is needed, don't procrastinate, get rid of stuff you don't need to reduce clutter.

stingy:
be very mindful of any activity that takes time away from homeschooling.

sense of humor:
don't be so serious- keep a joy of family life, accept bad stuff with calmness and prayer, remember the eternal view- keep a big smile on your face, joy is proper for a Christian.

steadfast in faith:
see Jesus Christ in the face of everyone-especially our children, we would sacrifice our own life for our child- we should sacrifice our daily life for their soul.

I made a point to tell Ginny what wonderful talks she gave this weekend and how lovely it was to hear someone who shares my basic homeschooling philosophy. She really shows mothers how we can pull it together and have a loving attitude toward our families. When I think of homeschoolers I would love to be more like, Ginny Seuffert is close to the top of the list.

learning to read

Maggie and I sat on the sofa this morning with set 1 of the cute Bob Books that I picked up at the bookstore a few months back. She is a very smart little girl and declares to everyone who will listen, "I am going to be reading by the end of the summer. I want to be able to read in bed with my flashlight, 'cause I'm a big girl!" Unfortunately I can't tell with the first 6 books if she is sounding out the words since Mary read them aloud and helped her memorize the stories. Maggie can rattle off the text almost before I turn the page. I think that we will only spend a week or so finishing up the set before we begin Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons. Both Will and Mary gained a lot of skills and confidence from the simple stories even though neither got past lesson 62. I can tell that Maggie is right on the brink, if I work with her for just 10 minutes a day she will be soon be staying up until midnight with her wind-up flashlight and a copy of Make Way for Ducklings under the covers.

driving alone

I left North Carolina Thursday morning with ample time to get up to DC for the IHM conference,my suitcase packed full of clothing more modest than I typically wear and my tote bag filled with lists of Landmark books, catalogues, and my completed enrollment packet. Seton offers a $30 discount per child if you sign up at a conference, so with 3 kids in school next year that pays for 1 night in the hotel. About 2 hours into the trip I realized, barring huge delays, that I would be arriving before check-in so I decided to stop at Petersburg's National Battlefield.

While taking a class in Virginia History at college I wrote a research paper on my great-great-grandfather, John C. Ashton, a Civil War veteran who fought in Petersburg at the Battle of the Crater and was captured and taken to Maryland. According to family lore, his mother traveled up to Washington, DC to plead with President Johnson to release all the boys from Portsmouth, including her son. Soon afterwards he returned home via the Eastern Shore where he was forced to cut off the CSA buttons off his jacket so he wouldn't be harassed by the occupying Union forces on the ferryboat.

I drove along the 4 mile road, stopping a few times to look at cabins and the massive earthworks that both sides erected during the 18 month campaign. Finally I arrived at stop 8 and walked to the modest crater that the Union forces created when they blew up the Confederate battery with explosives packed into a 300 yard long tunnel. It was a peaceful place with even a sight of a white-tailed deer grazing on the old battlefield, a far cry from the smoking and bloody scene on a hot July day almost 150 year ago. My last opportunity to take the children to see this battlefield will be after our packout while driving to our next duty station so I expect that over the next few weeks I will be conducting a short lesson on the Civil War and their ancestor's part in the conflict. One day we will live in the most Yankee state there is, home of towns created in the 1860's with names like Union and Unity. They may have slight Maine accents, but I will insist they were Virginians first.

Kudos to my husband

He was a first place winner in the 2007 Catholic Press Association Awards. He is a wonderful writer and humble to boot.

Ethics and Medics, Philadelphia, Pa., “The Pill and Breast Cancer Risk” by Timothy P. Collins, M.D.
Dr. Collins lays out the case that birth control pills are bad, not only because they violate the teachings of the Church, but they also pose serious health risks. He states his intention clearly in the opening paragraph, then lays out a convincing case for his thesis. He sums up his argument, showing that the Church and science agree on this subject. This essay stands out in that it is well organized, written clearly, it stays focused, and it effectively proves its point.

Carnival of Homeschooling

The Common Room is hosting the carnival this week.

I am amazed that someone with 7 kids could plan and stay on the computer long enough to collate all the posts, but likely they have much higher speed internet than my dinky 7 year old over-taxed computer. Tim just got a new laptop and wants me to try it out to see if I want one just like it. Only if I can get a mouse with it, I can't handle all the fingertip coordination you need to operate a standard laptop.

happy that our second amendment rights are secured

The North Carolina miltia is now armed and ready for any future battles.

crack the code

There are a lot of words any family uses that have special meanings forged by shared experiences and old jokes. An outsider could feel like they are listening to a foreign language. "Basta! Do not make any more bubbles," translates into, "No more! Stop passing gas." Four pairs of eagle eyes are ready to chant, "Mommy rolled her eyes, Mommy rolled her eyes!" when someone utters a far-fetched statement or tells a really bad knock-knock joke. Now Charlie and Timmy have expanded the family linguistic repertoire with their own code. In 24 month old speak, "NO!" means no and "no" means yes. Danielle Bean posted about this very same phenomenon with her toddler.

"I'm a little kid," from soon-to-be 4 year old Charlie translates into, "I want a sippy cup, to be carried, I can't eat all the food on my plate," while, "I am a big kid," means "I want special privileges reserved for the older children such as a glass of juice, a trip somewhere in the car, or a later bedtime." All this means that I am constantly asking both boys for a translation, "Does your no mean no or yes? What is your status today Charlie?"

Charlie summed up his fluttering back and forth very well, "Right now I'm a little kid, but I need to eat a lot so I can get big and do lots of stuff."

supersoaker or no supersoaker, that is the question

Some days it is hard to be the baby in the family. Yeah, sure you have lots of bigger people smiling and cheering every time you do something new, like walk down the stairs or say a string of new words, "duk, itty, Mawy..." But then there is the constant, "No, Baby Timmy, not for you." It is a real drag.

Now that the pool has opened our evening routine has shifted to dinner at 5, cleanup, pool at 6:30 and bath and bed at 8:30. Timmy loves getting his tiny red Crocs out, holding my hand and pointing at all the ducks in the pond, and shimmying into his inflated ring to paddle around in the shallow end. His first few dips were spent clinging to Tim's neck, but now he climbs in and out, splashes around, and even kicks his feet to stay upright. His eyes 'bout bugged out of his head when a child brought a humongous water gun tonight and let all the kids try it out. Even though he couldn't make it work Timmy still loved pretending that he could shoot water like everyone else. Watching them play, I thought, "Wouldn't these make great birthday gifts for the little boys?"

But then the fireworks started. After his very long turn Timmy fought vigorously against handing it back to the gracious 6 year old owner. When that didn't produce the desired result of the gun back in his hands he howled and screamed for what seemed like an eternity, but was likely about 15 minutes. After I realized that he wasn't going to give up I scooped him up and barked to Charlie and Maggie, "Follow me home!"

Then I realized my predicament. If I went ahead and bought Timmy the very toy he fussed so much over then that might give him the idea that he just has to pitch another fit and another to get his next have-to-have item. Before I know it, he could be 16 and having a throw down temper tantrum over a sporty red truck.

So... I can put a little money aside each month for truck payments if I buy him the gun or the same amount toward therapy if I don't buy it.

I might be overreacting, but doubt it, since I came "this close" to getting that red truck myself. My grandmother still talks about that day. It wasn't pretty.

do you have house lust?

I just finished speed-reading the new book, House Lust: America's Obsession With Our Homes by Daniel McGinn. It was facinating to get the inside scoop about the excesses of square foot mania, new home neurosis, renovation psychology, tempting TV shows, flipping failures, agent career stats, and vacation home valuation. It seems that the home tours, including bathrooms, and discussions of real estate values over the past five or six years I experienced at parties were not some local fad, but part of a nation-wide obsession with houses as the ultimate trophy to prove something to the neighbors and ourselves.

I certainly have been part of the craze, scanning real estate sections on Saturday mornings to see what homes were going for in various neighborhoods, including my own. I have watched a few episodes of HGTV, at least enough to know that if we had cable I would be addicted to at least a couple. Our own building project is far enough away that I can't camp out at the job site every day. However, I am starting to gear up for the main house project, one I know will involve many more decisions and could easily spiral out of control. Reading this book helped me plant my feet firmly in the smaller, more efficient house camp, after all, the kids will start leaving the nest 6 years after we move in.

art totes and toting babies to the arts

This morning I packed the kids in the van and escaped the oppressive heat (the heat index today is over 100F) at the North Carolina Museum of Art. After clicking around on the website I found that the info desk offers a tote bag program for kids. In our quest we explored the African and Modern art galleries, which I wouldn't have ventured into otherwise and found some lovely pieces, including a magical butterfly sculpture. Hundreds of glittering metal butterflies seemed to dance over delicate flowers above our heads.

The 4 ziplock bags contained activities corresponding to a painting, each child put together a modernistic puzzle to match this piece,

played a color search game

with this impressionist,

stroked fabrics contained in a portrait of the 5 year old King Louis XV, and listened to a story of how the african leopard got his spots. Except for having to listen to Timmy whine about having to stay strapped in the stroller instead of running around toucing valuable art works, the 90 minute visit was just long enough to be educational and just short enough to be fun.

summer reading program

We used to enroll the kids in the local library summer reading programs with their game cards, cheap plastic prizes, and coupons to Chick-fi-a, but finally it became too much trouble for me. Our children simply read too many books to keep track of minutes read or titles. After fighting with the librarian yesterday over several returned items (I remember putting them in the slot but they are still on our cards) I realized that we have checked out over 800 books this year. Okay, we paid $15 or so in overdue fees, but with a family of voracious readers like ours, the library is the best taxpayer funded public service by far.

I am so grateful to philanthropists who organized and sponsored public libraries in towns and cities all over the world and the librarians who staff them. Here are some of their many beneficiaries:

(note that the book is upside down)


(this one is reading his sister's Pony Pals books):


I hope your summer is filled with many trips to the library!

homeschool carnival

This week's carnival is up at Tami's Blog.

I got home really late last night from the "bombs and bravos" show-and-tell with some other homeschooling moms. Once I recover, I'll write about some of the books/game titles I scribbled down.

pray with me

I am not one of those folks who line up to see celebrities or idolize famous people in the media, but was startled to check my email this morning and discover that Teddy Kennedy is having surgery, not 30 minutes from here, at Duke University for a malignant glioma brain tumor discovered two weeks ago. I immediately recalled a conversation a few years ago with a priest in Maine who said, "If you had come with me last week over to Islesboro for Mass you would have seen Teddy Kennedy. He was here staying with a golfing buddy." At the time I wasn't too fond of the pro-abortion Catholic from Massachusetts, but didn't have the nerve to ask the priest if he gave him Holy Communion.

Today's news article states that the Senator plans to return to his political life and,"help elect Barack Obama the next president of the United States." Perhaps our prayers will change his heart to follow Catholic teaching regarding abortion. Sen Kennedy has a terrible prognosis and will likely soon meet Our Lord in the Particular Judgement. Our prayers now are with him and his family for conversion and comfort.

setting the table

This morning I came downstairs to Will unloading the dishwasher in the dark. While checking my email he asked me to help him print 4 copies of a homemade activity page with tic-tac-toe, coloring, and a maze. But it wasn't until I walked into the kitchen did I fully find out what he was up to; the child wanted homemade waffles so badly that he placed all the ingredients, bowls, and waffle maker on the counter. Will also set the table, making place cards for everyone and laid out the copies he made at all the children's places, even Timmy's.
It seems that we have been eating at the chain restaurants like Cracker Barrel a little too often, he even reproduced the cup of crayons in the middle of the table.

While our breakfast menu is a bit more limited, we have many more options of Crayola colors available.

I'm so angry I could spit

Yesterday I received in the mail the latest Catholic Heritage Curriculum catalogue. While I don't buy their lesson plans or workbooks, I have in the past ordered other books. Usually I can find suggestions for making homeschooling easier and inspirational stories in the quarterly catalogue. However, one of the quotes included was this one:

"Thank you for being here for us homeschoolers. I have always used CHC until this year (5th). I signed up for [Catholic packaged curriculum] with their counseling and turning in work. I paid a lot for it and it lasted a couple weeks before I got really frustrated and quit and lost all the money. I think [the program] is okay if your kids is at the learning level they think your child should be at (and you can sit daily without distractions to get the work done on time), but otherwise it is too much pressure to try to make my child the same as other children and pressure on my family to be on time with everything. I realized that this is why I homeschool, to adapt our year to our needs. Thank you so so so much for selling your curriculum without having to turn in work, etc. I can take your curriculum and adapt it to our needs without pressure. You also allow families that could not afford [the Catholic packaged program] to be able to have guidance and be able to homeschool... If it wasn't for CHC I believe I would have given up on homeschooling. God will reward you for your kindness in selling the curricula without making people enroll their children and turn in work... -Jennifer, New Jersey"


While it is perfectly acceptable to state why a company's program/books are deemed superior it was malicious of CHC to publish this letter. It is immediately obvious that the program being bashed is Seton Home Study School and the editor purposely left in all the parts that singled out this Catholic program. Why the mom felt overwhelmed and pressured by pieces of paper or didn't call the counselors I couldn't say, but I am upset with CHC for their unchristian conduct in publishing libel in their catalogue. I already called CHC and expressed my disappointment and have decided to find other sources for books and readers for our family.

IHM Conference in DC

I went to this conference a few years back and had a great time meeting up with Internet friends, learning about great Catholic books, and hearing inspirational talks concerning homeschooling and Catholic life. Due to Timmy being born and moving to NC I haven't been able to attend recently, but have my hotel reservations and schedule all ready for June 13 and 14th. This morning I highlighted the talks I want to sit in on:

Surviving Siblings: Homeschooling Different Ages at the Same Time (Ginny Seuffert-mom of 12)

Tips for the Overwhelmed Mom: Keeping Your Children on Track (Dr. Catherine Moran)

Sports and Divine Providence (Rebecca Dussault-Olympic athlete)

Joy: Allowing the Eternal into the Everyday (Father Matthew Zuberbueler)

Man and Woman: A Divine Invention (Dr. Alice von Hildebrand)

Finishing the Race: Homeschooling Through High School (Ginny Seuffert)

The Central Importance of Order in Teaching, Learning, and Living (Laura Berquist)

Male and Female Complementary and Differences (Father Joseph Mary Brown)

Pope Benedict XVI and the Mass (Father Joseph Fessio)

Taming the Tough Teens (Dr. Ray Guarendi)

Essential Study Skills: The Path to Success (Dr. Ann Martin)

Christian Hope (Father Joseph Mary Brown)

Sensitive Subjects: Teaching Controversial Aspects of History (Prof. Brendan McGuire)

I'll try to take good notes and share here some of what I learn. If you are going to this conference, let me know and I'll save you a seat! (and share pictures of the kids)

saying goodbye

While we were gone last week our babysitter and her family moved to Ohio. Gwen was a good sitter, not fantastically interactive with the children, but dependable. She showed up every weekday for 9 months at 2pm to watch the kids while I went running. Timmy usually slept through the hour, and some days I took one or two with me, but usually Gwen had 5 children under 10 demanding to watch a movie, read a story, and get a sippy cup of juice all at the same time. Yeah, my daily life, but the girl is 15 and only used to one sibling who can get his own juice.

My life these days has boiled down to # of XYZ left before we move. Will only has 1 more piano lesson tomorrow and 1 more Cub Scout activity. There are only about 2-3 weeks worth of school stuff left and we only have to make the hour drive to Mass six more times.

I am not the only one who has to constantly look at the calendar. On the way home from the pool yesterday I overheard another woman repeat to her husband what Maggie said moments before, "When is it going to be tomorrow so we can go back to the pool?"

Carnival of Homeschooling

This week's carnival is hosted by Jacque up at Walking Therein with an end of school year theme.

Happy Memorial Day

Tim mentioned a while back that there was a to-do at the American Legion complete with military equipment so this morning we checked it out. Wisely we skipped the speeches, 'cause the kids would have been disruptive but instead let them clamber all over this Vietnam era Huey helicopter. Charlie certainly looked adorable after he put on a metal helmet so we shall see if his photos make the local newspaper. The little ones were more interested in the green jeeps so I left Tim and Will back at the Huey fiddling with all the switches and buttons.

After everyone tried out the driver's seat a dozen times we bribed the children back home with promises of a walk to the pool after lunch. Charlie was so wiped out by his exuberant splashing and jumping that later I found the poor little fellow sound asleep on the schoolroom floor. They had such fun that we will likely be hitting the pool every day until our big move. Too bad I can't take them every day to climb on a helicopter. Recognizing the sacrifice of our brave veterans killed in duty and spending the rest of the beautiful day outdoors made a perfect Memorial Day.

home safe and sound

The girls and I returned home this afternoon after a visit to Grandmother in the hospital and Mass at St. Benedict's Chapel. After a very long Mass (2+ hours) Father Willis, the best priest I have ever met, announced that he is leaving FSSP to return to being a diocesan priest nearer to his family. Tim and I have learned so much from Father and have enjoyed his company while we were in Virginia. This reminded me that one constant of life is that things change, even if we don't want them to.

On our arrival the boys all poured out the door to greet and hug us, it seemed we were gone much longer than a week. They enjoyed their gifts from the aunties and after a respite from the usual bickering it was back to normal. "He hit me," "She is being mean," "I want that too," and "Gimmie!"

Well, the peace and quiet was nice while it lasted. Maybe I will get another respite from the fighting before they all grow up and move out, but I don't expect it.

quest finished!

After house hunting using my much planned list and striking out, the realtor and I pulled up recent listings and highlighted 5 houses closer in to DC. I was so excited about one place that I left a bit early and stopped by the empty house alone to walk around the lot, ring some doorbells, get a feel for the neighborhood. I was concerned that the lot slopes down steeply in the back, but decided that the size and location put it at the top of my list. So after a bit of paranoid flip-flopping I said, "This is the one." Afterwards I feel pretty dumb because I brought along the digital camera and didn't take a single picture! All I have to show Tim and the kids is one little black and white image of the front yard and my muddled description of the interior. I recall that the same thing happened on our last move. Luckily it really is a pretty house and I think we will be very comfortable and happy there.

After 3 days of dealing with horrid traffic I have decided to go back down the Eastern Shore and stop on the way to visit my grandmother. She just had surgery and is back in the ICU. Our detour will add a few days to the trip, but we aren't in any hurry and it will give me a chance to visit. I also admit that it will be nice go back on roads I know and not have to constantly scan the MapQuest directions in my lap.

Carnival of Homeschooling

Is up at Po Moyemu.

smoke and mirrors

oooooh, I despise traffic, but I'm pretty good at driving in it due to my 3 years of striving with the Italians. There, people would regularly back up on the highway, pass other cars on narrow, winding roads, and take advantage of the law that gives faster drivers the right-of-way. Routinely I would pull into the left lane to pass a 3 wheeled truck toodling along at 35 and see lights flashing and horns honking from a BMW driver going 100 mph right up to my back bumper. So, while stop-and-go congestion is not even comparable, I didn't enjoy 90 minutes in it to get to my appointment with the realtor.

After a trip to the potty, we set off in the realtor's SUV. She explained that her car needed oil and she had splashed some on the engine as she couldn't find the funnel. That was the understatement of a lifetime as for the next 3 hours the oil burned off the manifold and seeped out from the hood and into the interior. I sniffed my sweater while we were chatting with one tenant and I realized that I smelled like one of the pit crew at a NASCAR race. I promised myself a long, hot, cleansing shower whenever I finally returned back to my SIL's place.

We looked at many dumps and one diamond that I immediately fell in love with. It was a pristine Craftsman style cottage with every amenity one could imagine: hardwood floors, stone patio with grill, 10 rooms, wide porches, soaring stone fireplace, two fenced acres, and all overlooking a pond with wild birds. I said, "I'll take it," but the next hour was bogged down with negotiations over lease length, Tim's apprehension about the price and lengthy commute, and after overhearing the listing agent say she "was not comfortable with so many children in the house" we decided to let it go. It will take me a few days to get over my disappointment, but I am optimistic that it will all turn out for the best.

So, at 4pm I still had no lease to sign, but 6 more realistic options to consider after a return trip down to DC. Today my goal is simple: look again and this time walk away with a rental contract signed and a place to call home for the next 2-3 years.

Wish me luck!

7 hours later...

After our rainy drive yesterday I quickly realized that even a 10 mile commute in DC can turn into 30 minutes of torture. On an early Sunday afternoon which anywhere else would be a pleasant drive, we were stuck in traffic creeping along at 20 mph and passed the Capital Beltway exit Tim will take in to work in a few months. I can't imagine what the scene looks like today on a typical Monday morning. So after my brother-in-law lent me a map book of the county, I sat down this morning with my large mug of hot cocoa and methodically looked up each listing and determined exactly where on the map each was located. While several of the houses looked picturesque on 2 acre lots, I threw the cards away because renting any of them would force Tim to be in the car for over 2 hours each day.

After emailing the realtor with our pared down list of 8 houses, I am going to head up to my other sister-in-law's house (a very pretty and not crowded commute) to meet up with the girls and spend a day in the country walking the trails, wading in the stream, and spend many hours visiting with both my husband's wonderful sisters.

road trip

The girls and I are leaving Sunday for the big house-hunting expedition. They are excited to have a big sleepover and play session with their aunties, while I am excited to look at all these houses I have stared at on-line for months now. I am also a little guilty of wanting to get away from the boy cooties that threaten to overtake the house and have a little girl-only time. We aren't going to play beauty parlor or anything too cutesy, just take lots of walks in the woods and fields. My appointment with the realtor is Tuesday so say a quick prayer that we find a great house and have a safe trip.

God bless and see you when we get back!

math program decision

Well, this morning while the older kids were putting on the final touches of their piano recital pieces, I took the little ones to The Homeschool Gathering Place in Raleigh. I sat down with Math-U-See, Saxon 3, Singapore Math 2A and compared the textbooks, the teaching manuals, and the time of each lesson and decided to put Mary in Singapore 2A for this summer and next fall. There are 5 books including a teachers manual, a textbook, a workbook, and two extra problem books. The books are colorful and full of solid explanations of concepts that MCP seemed to gloss over. There are fewer problems per lesson, but they are spread out so we don't have to copy them over onto scratch paper. I also picked up a used set of Math-U-See manipulatives, they seem just like Cuisenaire rods, but with markings to distinguish the units.
I am not a curriculum jumper, preferring to stick with the same program, but it was apparent that MCP just was making Mary miserable and not helping her grasp the big picture.

After looking at the material she wanted to jump in right away, but luckily I had the excuse of needing to leave for their piano recital. It is going to take some time to get the gist of how the program works. Likely next year math will be more time consuming than, "Do two pages of math," but I expect it will be far more productive and enjoyable for both of us.

good things

The drifting sweet aroma of honeysuckle during a 6 mile run.

Packing to go househunting.

A warm strawberry shortcake with lots of whipped cream.

Dental anesthetics. (finally got that cavity filled)

An excellent + performance by a 9 year old in the local piano competition.

A baby who repeats everything his brothers and sisters say, including, "Bye-bye Daddy."

Taking a girl to her last Brownie meeting. (I'm glad it is the last one)

A reliable babysitter so I can run. (today is her last day)

Children who are obedient and helpful. (about 50% of the time)

A gentle and loving husband.

Thank you God for all the blessings I have been given. Help me to be more grateful and loving toward those around me.

one less thing to worry about

New research at Malmö University Hospital (Sweden) has revealed that mothers who have more children and especially those who breastfeed their babies have a significantly lowered risk of arthritis later in life. Researcher Dr. Mitra Pikwer found that breastfeeding for more than a year reduced women's risk of rheumatoid arthritis 54% and breastfeeding for at least a month tended to reduce the risk 26 percent. Moreover, women who gave birth to more children tended to be at lower RA risk, with a 13% reduction for each child they had. ...there was no evidence of benefits in RA from the use of oral contraceptives, which contain some of the same hormones that are elevated during pregnancy. (LifeSiteNews.com)

rushing homeschoolers into college?

Susan Wise Bauer is the author of many classical homeschooling books such as The Well Trained Mind (with a new edition just out), and the Story of the World series. This recent interview is in The Old Schoolhouse magazine.

Earlier this month I attending a presentation at our local homeschool support group with Jeanne of Books and Brownies. North Carolina offers high school students free community college classes in their dual enrollment program. Many homeschoolers take advantage of this opportunity to challenge gifted teens as well as earn free college credits. While I did like the idea of saving all that $$, I could see the potential problems of putting excess pressure on a 16 year old. Our discussion only touched on potential social and emotional difficulties. I was always the youngest kid in my high school class (I turned 18 at the end of my 1st semester of college) and it was apparent to me how much better I would have done academically if I had started a year later. It is nice to see a well-respected and famous homeschooling mom expressing a similar hesitation.

The other thing that I am getting increasingly irritated about is the focus on early college admission. Sending your child off to school at 16 (or earlier) is becoming a mark of prestige. Too many parents are using early college admissions to reassure themselves that they've done a good job. "I must have done something right-my kid is 16 and ready to go to college."

I really hate this increasing tendency to use early college admissions as a status symbol. I would like to see homeschoolers move more towards taking a gap year, a year off before college. We have this enormous flexibility; why don't we take advantage of it? I have taught college freshmen for almost ten years now, and I can tell which ones are 18 and which ones are 19 without even asking. My 19-year-old freshmen are better organized, they get more sleep, and they are happier. Most of all, they know what they are trying to get out of the experience. Emotional maturity can't be rushed; you simply have to live a certain number of years before you develop it.

I am not saying that no one is ready to go to college at 18. Sure, some kids are ready. But many, many kids would benefit from a year off. Taking a "gap" year before college is much more common in Europe than it is here.

Carnival of Homeschooling

Mom is Teaching is hosting this week's carnival.

living on one income

For the past 10 years I have stayed at home while Tim has brought in the $$. A single military paycheck is pretty paltry, especially since these days it is common for lawyers to marry lawyers and doctors to marry doctors, bringing in combined incomes of $300,000 and up. Instead of joining the competitive and exhausting world of dual income professionals we have lived frugally so we can be comfortable on one income. Tim sent me this article to tell me what a "trendsetter" I am.

Thanks sweetie, but I just try to follow the path laid out by generations of mothers and wives for financial peace: live within your means (don't go into debt), focus on God and not stuff (happiness is living in a state of grace, not living in a replica of Graceland), and pick a good husband (one who kisses his children each night, not just pays child support from another state).

You see lots of articles discussing ways to eliminate the second income -- things like clipping coupons, buying second-hand clothes, and cutting out vacations and cable television.
But ultimately, paring those expenses isn't going to cover the gap for most middle-class families, because those aren't the costs that drive them to the economic edge. The real problems are what Harvard Law professor Elizabeth Warren calls "the big five" -- housing, health insurance, child care, a second automobile, and taxes.

...today's families save less and carry more debt: In 1970, the one-income family saved 11 percent of its take-home pay and allocated 1.4 percent of its annual income to pay revolving debt, such as credit cards. In 2005, the two-income family saved nothing, and allocated 15 percent of its annual income to revolving debt.... In other words, the two-income family spends everything -- the second income, all of its annual savings -- and has piled on debt.

Lawrence, whose budgeting guide was first published in the 1980s, says it's harder to live on one income today because a number of innovations -- such as Internet access -- have become necessities. But just as important, there's so much more choice in luxuries than there used to be -- that is, so much more stuff to say "no" to.

This last part was brought home to me after reading Parenting, Inc. by Pamela Paul. It describes the excesses of new Mommy mania such as the $800 Bugaboo strollers that make up part of the $1.7 trillion American market for toys and baby gear. With all the new necessities of parenting even the Wall Street Journal figured a cost of raising one child to age 17 as costing a cool million dollars. I was amazed how much stuff new parents buy: boutique clothing and fanciful nurseries, baby classes in sign language and music, parenting coaches and exclusive mommy clubs, child tracking systems and car seats for stuffed animals.

As I was reading the thought that while these companies help our national economy, if people didn't buy all this junk they could afford to quit work, save for college, or have another child. As I am well aware, there are many families that really need mom to work, or mom needs to work a bit to stay current in her field or to feel productive. I too, have plans for working part-time or going into business for myself in a few years. I know many professional women who work to support an extravagant lifestyle and then claim they can't afford to stay home or have another child. However, there are many other women who would love to stay home and just need encouragement and financial advice.

My only suggestion is to research the options, live on one income for 6 months while saving the second paycheck, and have the confidence to live a pared-down lifestyle. While some days I wish I could walk out the door and not come home for 8 hours, I know that some of my kids wouldn't exist if I had a full time job and that would be unbearable.

while the cat is away...

Tim and Will left this afternoon for their first overnight Cub Scout campout. Previously they had stayed for the activities, but not wanting to miss Mass they always came home before bedtime. However, due to Mass here not starting until noon, they equipped themselves quite handsomely at Target with new sleeping bags, lanterns, a camp stove, and mess gear. The rest of us didn't exactly see them off, as we had already left for a picnic by the lake, complete with a sailboat ride, face painting, and games. The only blemish in the day was when Timmy was standing in a swarm of fire ants and in the 15 seconds it took me to race down the hill and swipe them off he was bitten about a dozen times. He is quite a trooper though and only cried for a few minutes. Ever efficient I had all 4 of my charges bathed (bye, bye, unicorn) and fed by 6pm and in bed before 8pm.

You see, I have my own agenda for the evening and it doesn't include reading dozens of picture books or letting them watch movies. I have been utterly entranced by a series in the style and setting of Jane Austen's England by Elizabeth Aston. While I am still missing the first book, Mr. Darcy's Daughters, I have sped through The Exploits & Adventures of Miss Alethea Darcy, The True Darcy Spirit, and The Second Mrs. Darcy. So, with only the last in the series, The Darcy Connection left in the house, I am going to shut down the computer, pull out a bag from my hidden stash of m&ms and make myself a little nest to read, without any pressure during an exciting scene to shut the book and turn off the light. I certainly love spending time with my husband but I occasionally enjoy staying up late with a juicy story. Love, intrigue, fortunes, scandal, and always a happy ending, what could be better?

Timmy Houdini

The nice weather has kept us outside the past few days with more than walks around the pond and Will and Mary trying out their new fishing rods. Though Will caught a large mouth bass and Mary told us of several large ones "that got away."

When the big kids ask if they can go off to catch turtles or fish I usually say okay 'cause I trust them not to do anything dangerous. Preschoolers and toddlers are a different story. I am grateful that Maggie and Charlie stay in the yard, but Timmy goes right for the pond or the street. It has been a enormous challenge to keep this daredevil safe. I installed hook-and-eye latches for several of the doors, but he keeps testing them and 15 minutes don't go by before he finds one unlatched.

Out he goes.

Or he rediscovers that the back screen is a sliding door has a faulty latch.

Out he goes.

Or he enables his super sensitive radar to know when the garage storm door latch hasn't been tightly shut.

Out he goes.

I'm sure this desire to escape will serve some useful purpose in Timmy's adult vocation, perhaps he will be a performer in magic shows or a war spy. I can already tell that he won't be a corporate type working in a high rise, only able to look out the window.

As for me, I'm getting a lot of exercise hunting down and chasing my elusive little dude back into the house.

good morning!

There are few things nicer for a mommy than to wake up late and find that the children have gotten themselves and their younger siblings dressed as a surprise. What was even better was when I sleepily asked, "Have you brushed your teeth?" they rushed into the bathroom in perfect obedience.

It doesn't happen very often, but it sure is delightful when it does.

Carnival of Homeschooling

This week's carnival is hosted by Melissa's Idea Garden with a lovely Mother's Day theme.

where is Wyoming anyway?

For the 4th quarter Will and I have been focusing on state history and US geography. I figured that we needed some fun practice so I turned to a game I found at the thrift shop called mad dash!. After our daily round I set a blank US map from Uncle Josh's Outline Map Book on the table and ask him to fill it in without looking at the giant map on the wall. He liked using the abbreviations so I printed out a list from the USPS website. I can't figure out why Connecticut and Massachusetts tend to be some of the hardest ones to fix in his mind, since he has been through these states over a dozen times on our summer pilgrimage to Maine. Of course he has never been to Alaska or Hawaii, but those are the first he scribbles down. In mad dash! those two states are the mad cards and when you try to make your road trip linking states together they can be used to jump over a missing state.

It has only taken about 50 games and a dozen blank maps for Will to think of it as a fun game rather than just a dopey extra assignment. Today he begged to play 3 rounds and filled in his blank map in about 10 minutes. I don't usually steer other moms to buying a particular product, but I have to say that we have had a great time learning with this game.

anxiety and angst

Many times in the past 5 years I have been intrigued by news stories about child prodigy homeschoolers. Recently an article in the Chicago Tribune starred Chelsea Link, who was courted and accepted to 7 Ivy League colleges. Chelsea wasn't merely taught at home By her dear mum, "her transcript includes courses ranging from... the Sorbonne in Paris to accredited online instruction from the Stanford University's Education Program for Gifted Youth."

"Despite all this excellence, Link's mother shared her daughter's angst."I'd wake up in the middle of the night and wonder: 'Whatever made me think that [home schooling] would be looked upon favorably?' " said Cindi Link, who prepared detailed course descriptions for the applications. The Links—who own their own marketing-analysis business—have been assuming responsibility for their only child's studies since kindergarten."

I was encouraged that even the parent of such a talented girl could share my anxiety about being solely in charge of a child's education. Last night I stayed up half the night staring at the ceiling, unable to sleep because of my worry over Mary's math skills. It has become increasingly obvious that her mind just doesn't seem to understand spatial relationships. She can't jump from plodding through addition and subtraction problems on paper to being able to doing it in her head. She will add 7+3=10, but if I ask her 10-3=? she looks at me blankly. She doesn't understand that adding 10+x=1x. Even the two times tables are frustrating to her.

I have started working with her in the afternoons using Math-It and it seems to be slowly working. However, my mind was stuck that since she is enrolled in a homeschool program she can't go slower or repeat certain subjects. Worry over far future PSATs, SATs, and college admissions put my mind into a lockbox. I needed to ask myself "Why not explore all the options?" Mary is only 8. She is too young for me to think that I have failed her forever by not somehow turning her into a math genius. We could switch to a more free-form curriculum for a year, repeat a grade, and/or simply take our time to get the basics down. Whatever we decide I can be confident that I have her well-being and future as my top priority.

Even if she doesn't get into Harvard.

not a good nature walk for the squeamish

Yesterday afternoon, while Timmy was napping, the kids and I proceeded on a turtle hunt around the pond. Armed with a bucket, but no net, we were disappointed over and over when we would spy a red or yellow slider but watch them plop off a branch and disappear in a cloud of mud. Mary is our turtle whisperer, she seems to be able to catch them by being as quiet as a mouse and sliding her hand close in a flash. Unfortunately, with 3 other children along, such peace is not easily obtained so we only managed to get one little guy in the bucket.

As we continued to follow the path home I spied not only 1, but 2 big snakes resting in the brush by the side of the pond, not 12" from the path. I'm no snake expert, but the tan and brownish diamonds didn't look good so I hurried the children on and told them to keep their eyes peeled. Later in the afternoon we found that one of us had brought home more than he expected when Will found a tick down his underpants.

Each animal was a little science lesson as I tried to answer, "What kind of snake is that? Is it poisonous? Why do ticks bite? How big do they get when they suck your blood? Why do we have to put Brave (the turtle) back in the pond, can't he live with us?" While there are lots of ticks and other creepy creatures in Maine, there are no poisonous snakes, making for slightly less dangerous nature hikes in the future.

Carnival of Homeschooling

This week's carnival is hosted by HomeschoolBuzz with a futuristic theme.

your tax dollars at work

I thought I was upset when I heard that Nancy Pelosi spent $40,000 last year on flowers for her office, but now I find that many House members lease expensive SUVs and we pay for it. These are the same folks who refuse to drill oil in ANWR, refuse to eliminate the .50/gal gas tax (the oil companies only make .08/gal and they do all the drilling, refining, shipping, and distributing), and want us to radically change our lifestyles to reduce "man-made global warming".

What is it with these people? Can't they make do with a little less? Regular folks are having to trim back their household budgets, but the elitist politicians never seem to think basic economic principles apply to them. Many times while Will and I have read a chapter from Story of the World (Modern times) I have noticed that revolutions seem to occur when the regular people are treated like dirt while those in charge live in luxury. I don't yet see us at the brink of revolution, but there are a lot of ominous clouds on the horizon.

And it's not just the car, but gas, registration, insurance … the works. And there's no limit on how much they can spend. Congressman Charles Rangel was recently seen getting out of his Cadillac DeVille, which he leases for $774 per month. ...Congressman Gregory Meeks' Lexus LS460, which Meeks leases for $998 per month. All those leases are picked up by taxpayers through a little-known program available only to members of the House of Representatives.