I admit that I try to be a 1950's mom, letting my kids have a good deal of freedom that seems to be lacking in the lives of many of today's children. The older kids ride their bikes to piano lessons and scouts, are allowed to walk to the pool by themselves, and hang out with their friends outside for hours each day. I don't overscheldule their days, giving them plenty of free time to goof off, read, and be kids. At the playground I have always been the mommy who sits on the park bench reading a book or chatting rather than hovering beside each child. If they get hurt I encourage them to pick themselves up, dust off, and get back to playing. I have found that they end up being more resilient and not as prone to theatrics. I like to have a general idea of where the children are, but have never contemplated getting any of them a cell phone or installing a GPS chip under their skin.
After reading this article in Newsweek I took a "mommy quiz" to determine my parenting style. The results confirmed what I suspected, how we parent is based primarily on our distinct personality and so there is no "one right method" of raising children. Many times I have read a book or article that states in bold print, "The Best Way to Not Raise Brats!" and every paragraph assumes that all mothers tend to be too much of a push-over. If we can remember that each of our children were given to us by God himself and learn our parenting "style" then we can become the wonderful parent to the children entrusted in our care.
My quiz results: intj -The "Individual Integrity" Mother
Individualistic and independent, the INTJ mother is both a role model and teacher of how to be an individual and live life with integrity. She is introspective, defining her own success from within, and generally confident in her decisions. She is unlikely to be persuaded by her children saying, "But all the other mothers are doing it."
The INTJ is competent in providing for her children's basic needs, but she is likely more focused on developing their self-esteem and confidence. Observant and insightful, she puts great importance on independent thinking and self-sufficiency, yet she is comfortable providing protection and boundaries.
Self-motivated and intense, the INTJ works hard and takes life seriously. As a mother, she lives for those moments when she can impart knowledge and offer her children perspectives on life and important issues.
Knowing that not any style is "best," what kind of mom are you?
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2 comments:
INTJ as well. But it wasn't cut and dried. My personality is an INFJ.
Sometimes, too much time at home is draining and we need to get out and do something (E). I do care about my children's feelings (F). I can get stuck in a rut (S). I can be flexible and spontaneous (P).
I'm not sure that the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator really distinguishes all that well between "helicopter" and "free-range" parents. Perhaps the J vs. P dimension to a certain extent. All the moms of my acquaintance I'd consider to be "helicopter" parents are hyperorganized J's. But I also know plenty of J's who are not that way.
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