actual and perceived reality

Last night I had a vivid dream in which one of the children spilled a box of gumballs across the living room floor. We cleaned them up, but found Timmy toddling with a piece of the candy in his mouth. In super slow-motion he tripped and fell onto his tummy with the gumball lodging itself in his windpipe. I saw him struggling and turning blue, at which point I suddenly awoke and shot blot upright in bed, "No!"

My mind could not escape the image of my precious baby dying in front of me so I closed my eyes and prayed, "Please, dear Lord, save my child, help me save my baby." In my imagination I wrapped my arms around his tummy and jerked upwards in time to see the imaginary gumball shoot across the room and roll under a chair. The reality of knowing that Timmy was sleeping soundly in his crib did not change my perception that he was in grave danger and needed to be rescued.

And so it is also the case when reading other mom's blogs. What is presented in a series of posts is not necessarily what is going on in that person's home and homeschool. Lately I have read more than a few blogs where everything is idyllic, the children are perfect angels who love to do math problems, chores are completed without grumbling or pay, they never buy kid's meals at fast food restaurants, the houses are constantly immaculate, and the mothers never raise their voice. Even Danielle Bean's blog throughout Lent has been exclusively syrupy sweet, "I love to snuggle my baby, isn't life grand?"

Now perhaps these folks do have Better Homes and Gardens homes and cheerful children who always do as they are told the FIRST time, but I doubt it. When I visit homeschoolers I notice that they too have toys all over the living room, that the art project from who knows when hasn't been cleaned up, and there are children squabbling in the backyard. My house is just about average in terms of organization of books and craft stuff, the floors have crumbs and goo despite sweeping and vacuuming daily, and there is always a huge pile of laundry to fold on my bed. My kids bicker and pick on each other, and I feel like I'm doing well if I don't tell them, "You are driving me to drink!" more than 3 times a day. (even though we don't have any booze in the house) I can't feed my family of 7 on $50 a week, posting arranged shots of my grocery haul and receipt totals. I don't think many of us can do most of these "super homeschool mom" stuff since posts about organizing, needing hired help, getting kids to do their chores, and simple exhaustion are the longest and most anguished discussions on bulletin boards. So, as you roam the internet, remember that what is perceived is not always reality and to keep gumballs out of your dreams.