How much help do you give your 6 year old in learning to write her letters?
Easy: as much as necessary.
But, how much assistance does a 9 year old need to write book reports?
I have no idea, but I'm learning.
Homeschooling allows parents to assist their children and gradually wean them off dependence on mom, but the details of how much tend to swing between gut instinct and a willingness to dare to try. A child who couldn't write a simple paragraph a few months back can suddenly and surprisingly write a 3 page long letter to his auntie with beautiful and coherent paragraphs. One day it just clicks and you think, "that wasn't so bad."
These days I am waiting for that moment in teaching two reluctant children to write Seton's book reviews. Every week I grit my teeth and say, "I am NOT going to write this FOR you, I passed ___ grade already. Now, let's get started." I don't really know how much help I need to give. Do they need me to supply ideas because they are just learning or because they are lazy? Would they perhaps be better writers in a classroom with 25 other children and no individual help? I doubt it.
But, just as they gradually learned to feed themselves, get rid of the pacifier, use the potty, and began to read, I am sure that they will not go to college needing Mommy to sit beside them taking notes and typing out their paragraphs. They need to be independent by the time they get to college so they are not among the 30% of college freshmen who drop out.
We, as homeschooling parents, have a wonderful opportunity by teaching our children ourselves but we need to gradually shift the responsibility of their education to them. I am sure that sometime this year I will be able to give Will a sheet of paper and say, "Write a paragraph about xyz topic," and just listen to the sound of the pencil scratching away.
Gary Waller, vice president for academic affairs at Purchase College, said the students who seem to have the greatest difficulty adjusting to college are those who coasted through high school.
David Ward, retired chairman of the counseling department at Horace Greeley High School in Chappaqua, agreed, saying that children of highly involved parents tend to shrink from challenges. ''The real risk for students not finding their college experience satisfying is doing too much for them,'' Mr. Ward said. ''Part of the experience of college is the struggle as we know it. We grow most from experiences that are difficult. When we do a lot for our kids, we make it easy or easier in some way to somewhat disable them as opposed to making them have to deal -- to do it on their own.'' New York Times
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
It is interesting how that move from nagging to independence happens. I, too, have spent time grumbling (to myself) that I have already done grade whatever. And I, too, have experienced those moments where, by golly, N. suddenly is doing it on his own--and I can't remember where the transition happened.
Independent reading has been one of those things. Last year, I had to practically pull teeth to get him to read independently. And suddenly, last week, I saw him reading on the couch and wondered to myself: "When did that happen?"
It's pretty cool when it does.
Post a Comment