driving me mad

 I have been overheard this past week saying, "If there was an orphanage in Bangor, one of you would be dropped off," meaning Julia Ellen. In the past 4 days she has sniffed out the bigger kid's candy stash and ate every last Reese's Peanut Butter Cup, leaving the wrappers all over the girl's floor while they were at school. She pulled dozens of books off the shelves in the schoolroom, leaving us to pick our way across the floor. She screamed every single time she didn't get her way (which was about every 10 minutes), interrupting school time and grating on my nerves. The final straw today was finding this morning my pretty lime sweatshirt that I had just bought covered in black acrylic paint. 

Yes, it was partly Charlie's fault for leaving his paint somewhere she could reach, and I guess I shouldn't have left my sweatshirt downstairs, but I'm a little tired of the whole toddler/preschooler age. I'm not even pushing the potty training, as I said to another mom of many at the soccer game the other day, "Don't I get a pass after going through this five times already?" I know I shouldn't wish time to go any faster, but I sure do look forward to the day when our home is not quite so messy.

where do they all go?

The children's shoes, that is? When I packed clothing and toiletries for the children back in May, I laid out 1 pair of tennies, 1 pair of church shoes, and all the complete pairs of Crocs I could in a duffel bag and put it in the back of the van. Along the edge of our new porch was decreed "Croc, rubber boot, and boat shoe zone" while tennies went in the mud room. Since then we have misplaced at least 5 pairs of rubber shoes, even after replacing 3-4 pairs from Goodwill. My lone pair of light blue Crocs that I bought 2 years ago are sitting on the porch, damp from an early morning walk around the garden, but I could only count 4 pairs of children's shoes. Timmy had to wear his sister's pink shoes to dinner last night after searching the car and not being able to find the mate to the ones he swore were in the van. When we pulled back in the driveway I spotted the missing shoe where it had fallen out in the mad scramble to pick up Will and Mary from sailing, drop off Will, Mary, and Maggie at swimming, and go to Dysarts, our favorite truck stop restaurant for supper.

This mystery of the missing shoes is perplexing. The kids don't come home with only 1 shoe most days, I don't find them in the grass when we mow, and I don't think the wild animals eat them. But perhaps I am mistaken, just maybe there is a critter stalking around the house at night, waiting for his chance to snatch a brightly colored Croc and drag it back to his den. There is the slightest possibility that my children are not to be blamed for misplacing their shoes on an almost-daily basis, but that we will spy a nest in the trees constructed of rubber strips of their footwear.

Yeah right.

some days are like that

Yesterday was a Terrible, Horrible, No-Good, Very Bad Day. Charlie had to be reprimanded and apologize to the mother's helper and Julia Ellen spent much of the school day alternating between screaming and having to sit on her bed for time-out. The house was a mess and I felt pulled in every direction from children needing assistance with their work, needing me to wipe their fanny, needing me to put on their socks, nappy, pants, needing me to brush their teeth... I spent an hour running to have some alone time and prepare for my first 10K this weekend and almost got run down by some jerk in his car. I have taken to carrying a stick to ward off SUV drivers who perceive a 40 year old woman running down the side of the road as a target, but this guy made me jump backwards almost into a ditch, refusing to give me even 20" of clearance. I spent the rest of the day wishing for revenge and had nightmares about my body being found and no justice being served against a hit-and-run murderer. Will dragged his feet all day and was 20 minutes late to Cub Scouts because he was still doing math at 5:50pm.
Some days are pretty awful and yesterday I really would have given serious thought to turning in my vocation and moving to Australia. But of course, like Alexander figured out, the sun comes up again and presents us with an opportunity to have a new start.

Mommy, is there something I can do?

That is, for money?

All three of the big kids in the house are in a frantic race to get out of bed so they can be the first to empty the dishwasher ($.50), fold laundry ($.25), or vacuum the carpet ($.50). Will is saving money for an extra week at Boy Scout camp, Mary is hording hers for no particular reason, and Maggie needs to earn an additional $4.50 for a Jessie doll from Toy Story 3. "It was the only thing on my Christmas list that I didn't get," she has been lamenting for the last month. I'm perfectly happy doling out the extra cash in exchange for not working my fingers to the bone trying to keep up with the clutter that just naturally accumulates in a household of 8.

Since the kids don't receive an allowance, they must work to buy any extras such as the pellet gun that Will was allowed to purchase last week. He had to earn the right to do so by finishing his work in a timely manner and not giving me any grief for a week. Of course the gun needs ammunition replenishment that I can hold over his head in the future. For once in the last 12 years I feel like I could theoretically put my feet up and nosh on a few bon-bons, that is if I had any chocolate in the house.

a useful tip

If, by chance, your 19 month old manages to lock herself in the bathroom, don't panic. Don't call your husband on his cell phone and hysterically ask, "What should I do?" Don't take the doorknob apart. Don't call the fire department.

What you should do is calmly look above the door sill for the tool to unlock the door. Or you could go in the garage and get a big screwdriver and mallet and take off the hinges, which is what the firemen eventually did. 

The little boys really got a kick out of seeing the big red fire engine stop in front of our house. I'm grateful they didn't get to hear the siren as it came down our block. What the neighbors must think, "Those people with ALL those kids have only been here a week, I wonder what they are going to do next?"

combatting shyness

Mary is my shy child, unable to even speak to others when she is in a new situation and it takes all my patience to not get frustrated with her. Yesterday she started piano lessons with a new teacher (her 4th teacher due to our constant moving) and ballet class. Perhaps I shouldn't have scheduled both on the same day, she was so nervous by the time we got to the ballet studio that she felt nauseous. The staff was very kind and she sat and watched the other girls for 20 minutes before joining in. Tap class starts this evening and we will see how she handles yet another new experience. I'm sure she will eventually grow out of this fear, but for now the first day of class is hard on all of us.  

baby needs new shoes

Actually, Mary and Charlie need new pants, but don't want to give up their old ones. Charlie's camouflage trousers have split down the crotch and both knees have ripped, even after being patched. Mary's pants have been patched once already and now are threadbare to the point of being able to see her panties through the backside seam. But since they are the "favorite" and most comfortable thing to wear, all I've heard this week is, "Pleeeease fix them! Don't throw them away!!"

The question of the day is, should I sneak them into the trash before we leave Maine in a few days or attempt another repair job?

moving on up

I'm so proud of Will today. Last night he went through his board of review and was given his 2nd class Boy Scout badge. While he doesn't always obey Mommy and Daddy at home, he certainly acts like a helpful and courteous Scout on Thursday nights. His Scoutmaster praised him to the skies and said he was a real asset to the troop. We told him that if he advances to 1st class before we move then he can pursue the shooting merit badge at camp this summer during the 2 weeks we are sending him. To prove his effort he got 3 items signed off toward that goal after the meeting. I would have preferred a little less enthusiasm as this meant we didn't get home until 10pm.