Tuesday, August 28, 2007

bad news

My mother was diagnosed with stage 4 ovarian cancer back in February and underwent the first round of 5 chemotherapy treatments. Unfortunately, the doctor gave her bad news yesterday and said that the tumor is growing and blocking organs in her tummy. She is scheduled for a CAT scan and another round of chemo. All her hair and eyebrows are gone, she has been almost confined to bed for much of the time, and she has felt miserable. My mother is so brave to endure and still smile through the pain. Her two favorite activities, knitting and reading have had to be put aside because "chemo brain" causes her to not be able to concentrate.

I feel so helpless, wishing I could wave a magic wand and restore her to health. I am 1000 miles away and can't get down there for 5 weeks. As soon as we get back down to North Carolina I will head up to see her, but all these conflicting thoughts fly through my head about it. I have to determine if it would be a good idea to take any of the children. I don't want to take the baby, he is so demanding, but still nursing. Weaning wouldn't be an evil thing, after all he is 14 months old. The older ones might be okay, but they would get bored fast and I want to spend time with Mother. Tim would have to take all 5 to Mass by himself if I went alone, not an impossible task, since I have done it all summer, but... I have 5 weeks to sort out and plan the trip, all while worrying and praying.

Please pray with me for Julia, but don't feel you have to help with the worry part.

5 comments:

bernzin said...

Oh, Kat. I am so sorry to hear about your mom's illness. I know exactly how you feel -- I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer 15 years ago this year. I will keep Julia and your family in prayer.

bernzin said...

Kat, I am so sorry to hear about your mom's illness. I know how you feel -- I lost my mom to pancreatic cancer 15 years ago. I definitely will keep Julia and your whole family in prayer.

Anonymous said...

Don't let piddling things like dh having to take 5 children to Mass by himself impact decisions about you being with your mother at the end of her life.
Will be praying for you and for your mom. Keep the priorities straight. #1-getting to your mother to be with her, pray with her, love her...
Is there other family near her that can help you take care of the baby and/or the other kids.

kat said...

There are a lot of issues involved, but my family is not child-friendly so it is dh or no one to watch the children. Plus, he is working very long hours this year, his time is not his own.

My #1 priority actually is to take care of my children. Mother understands the logistical difficulties I face, but it doesn't ease my feelings of helplessness and heartbreak.
I am praying for healing and conversion, but also realistically that she hold on long enough for me to see her one last time.

Michelle said...

Kat, my prayer is that all your decisions are easy ones, that everything falls into place without too much angst, and that all accomodations for your children happen with littel trauma to you, your children or your husband.

And I pray for healing, of course.

When my dad went into the hospital a few weeks ago (minor problem, thank goodness!), I had a brief moment of panic as I worried about what to do if he got worse...what to do if he died. The drive is 18 to 20 hours. I'm very pregnant. Flying is very expensive (and then we have no car). And leaving the kids with my husband is a short-term solution. I'm happy to be spared any of those decisions.

{hugs}