Things have been falling apart at our house this past week. My internet connection was down for 3 days and since Will is at Boy Scout camp, I had no idea how to fix my modem problem (thank you to the nice man on the phone from India who kept repeating, "I apologize for your frustration," when they couldn't find my account. "But I have your satellite dish on my roof and we have had service for a year!") My van has been in the shop since Tuesday afternoon when the transmission suddenly died. It won't be ready until Monday. And most distressing of all is that I was diagnosed with bursitis and arthritis in my sore hip. I've only run a few times since my last race and start physical therapy on Monday. I took off almost 20 years of running, mostly to have babies, and now I feel like I threw away the gift of that time. If I don't get better, I don't see how I can continue, it isn't fun to run with constant pain.
But after having my short pity party, I realize how truly blessed I am. My connection to the world was resolved with just tightening a loose connection on my modem. My van is fixable and we can afford to make that repair. My hip seems to be improving a bit and, even if I could never run again, I can always take up swimming to stay in shape. My husband loves me, my children are all well (except for Julia Ellen's minor fever), and I have food in the pantry. There are many people who are caring for sick loved ones, millions of people don't have a job, and many more are worried about how to pay the bills. Today there are almost a hundred families in Colorado standing by a hospital bed or mourning the loss of their loved one. The only thing I can give is to offer up my pain for them, for the survivors to be given peace and have the strength to recover physically and emotionally from this massacre and for the souls of those who have been killed.